The Rain Goes On
by Ghene
Summary: Prequel to Rectitude. After months of being at odds with the Titans and fighting with his conscience, Robin finally begins to snap. Oneshot. SpeedyxRobin, implied SladexRobin


**Major Pimpage: Everyone go join my Teen Titans Slash LJ community! The link is in my profile :D**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my own original ideas. The song which this fic is loosely based off of, "Blame It On The Weatherman" is by BWitched.

**Thank You to my lovely beta Bonnie who helped me when I was stuck and made this make at least a little sense :D**

**Notes:** The prequel to "Rectitude"! Now everyone gets to see what drove Robin off the deep end! Woot! This is my first one-shot _ever._ I am proud. And how very uncharacteristic of me to have such short notes, eh?

Enjoy!

* * *

**The Rain Goes On**

* * *

Robin groaned and buried his face into the crook of his arm, curling his legs up to his stomach. He shivered and bit his lip, trying to ignore the pain in his left thigh. The surface on which he was lying was soft and comfortable, yet it gave off a certain chill. Another shiver rocked his body, but was halted upon the presence of a heavy cloth that suddenly enveloped him. It smelt like sweat and expensive cologne. 

Blinking his eyes open, Robin winced at the light he was faced with. He shut his eyes tightly and coughed, changing his position and pulling the blanket around him like a cocoon. He soon became aware of the pounding in his head and the sweat covering his skin.

Under normal circumstances, the soothing hand on his back would have made him jump in alarm. At the moment, however, it only made him feel more relaxed. It rubbed circles and massaged him gently. Soon, he felt himself drifting back to sleep.

When Robin woke up hours later, he was more alert than before. The pain in his head was still there, but it had lessened to the point where he could begin to think clearly.

He wasn't supposed to be here. Wherever 'here' was, at least. He remembered fighting, screams for him to be careful, and rain. Lots of rain.

"I've seen you've finally awakened, little bird."

Robin started at the voice. Sitting up quickly, he tried to ignore the way his surroundings spun and his head ached.

"Slade," he hissed. There was a painful throbbing in his left thigh that he tried to ignore as he stood. The ground beneath him shook and he fell back down on to the soft floor. It was then that he realized that it wasn't a floor at all, but a bed.

Robin felt bile rise up in his throat as he thought about who exactly the bed might belong to.

"Now now, Robin. You know better than to go running off into battle when you're ill. You could have gotten hurt." Slade stepped out of the shadows and motioned to Robin's left leg. "You _did_ get hurt."

Robin looked down and saw a bloody bandage wrapped neatly around his aching limb. Narrowing his eyes, he pushed himself off the edge of the bed and onto his feet.

"What do you want with me?" he snarled, hand already reaching for his Bo-staff.

"Absolutely nothing…. at the moment," Slade replied smoothly. Robin halted and stared up at his enemy in surprise, before rebuilding his guard.

"Don't play games."

"No games. Your friends…" Robin tensed at the word, wondering what Slade had in mind. "They left you…you were injured and sick; it was raining so hard you could barely see your hand in front of you. And they left you," Slade purred. Robin grit his teeth.

"That's not true."

"Isn't it? Then why are you here? I saved you, little bird."

"_From _you!" Robin yelled, whipping out a birdarang. Before he could blink, a strong grip was on his wrist, keeping him from attacking.

"My androids attack whatever attacks them," Slade murmured, dangerously close. "Maybe you should learn to stop attacking."

"Never," Robin hissed, yanking his arm free. "And Terra's excuse?" he asked, picturing the blonde's expression of fury as she battled them.

"Anger. Betrayal." Slade's voice sounded like it was coming from inside his head. "Everything you feel deep within that you won't admit. But you will. Soon enough."

"_Never._" Robin slammed his elbow into Slade's stomach, flipping backwards as he pulled out his Bo-staff. He landed awkwardly due to the pain in his leg and fought not to topple over. His hands clenched around the staff so tightly that his knuckles turned a ghostly white.

"I don't want to fight you, my dear boy. Not now, anyway." Slade made a swift movement and, out of the corner of his eye, Robin saw a door swing open. It led to the world outside. "You're free to leave."

"What's the catch?" Robin growled suspiciously, crouching down into a ready position. Slade chuckled, his voice full of a dark pleasure.

"The catch? No catch. I'm simply letting you say goodbye to your precious friends before you finally return to me." Slade sounded confident, cocky, in his predictions. Robin's eyes widened and he held his staff in one hand, using the other to pull out an exploding disk.

"Return to you? You're even crazier than I thought," he snarled, hurling the disk towards the masked man. When the explosion had ceased and the smoke had cleared, Slade was left alone in the small room.

Staring at the open door, he smiled to himself.

"You're already mine, my dear boy. You can run as far away as your legs will take you, but you will return to me eventually. You are mine."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Gasping for breath, Robin collapsed against the jagged wall of the cave he'd found. The rain was violent in its downpour and Robin had been too blinded, too ill, and too pained to continue through the storm. His head pounded, his leg ached, there was a sharp pain all along his throat and his nose felt like it was on fire. The cold bit at his gloveless arms and the slivers of skin that had been revealed due to tears in his uniform.

He'd lost his communicator hours ago.

Struggling to keep his eyelids from shutting, Robin used one of his birdarangs to carve pictures in the dirt. He wanted nothing more than to rest, but he knew that, in his current condition, it was the worst thing possible for him to do. He kicked himself mentally for not listening to his teammates when they had tried to persuade him to stay in the Tower instead of going off to battle Slade. He'd been sick for a week, and though he was getting better, he still wasn't well enough to fight. He just hadn't wanted to admit it.

And now he was paying for it dearly.

He'd separated from the group at the first sighting of Slade, foolishly going after him alone as he had done so many times before. The rain, the same dense veil that continued to mask the world outside the cave, had made it hard for him to see and hear. If his loss of senses were added to his fatigue, dizziness, and aching head, it would make him the ultimate prey. And it did.

The pack of Slade's robots that had followed him found him to be nothing more than a plaything. The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was the sharp pain of a knife sinking into his leg.

And now here he was, a truly pathetic sight: clothing ripped, body battered and bruised, shivers racking his body, and coughs burning his lungs, curled up in the darkest corner of an abandoned cave he found after hours of desperately searching for his home.

He didn't know how much time had passed by the time the black dots started to flood his vision and the world around him began to sway.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Robin moaned and let out an involuntary squeak as he stretched his limbs, relishing the warmth he found himself in. He picked up the familiar scent of his shampoo and soap that he knew bathed his bed. A sigh left his lips as he rolled over onto his side and blinked his eyes open. He was met with a pair of bright green orbs, larger than anything he'd ever seen before in his life. And he screamed.

"Robin! It is only I, Starfire! Why do you make such unpleasant noises?" Starfire panicked, hovering over Robin in a frenzy that was reminiscent of a spooked fly. Robin stared up at her incredulously as he caught his breath, trying not to get dizzy as his eyes followed her every movement.

"I…you… you just scared me," he croaked, frowning at the sound of his own voice. Starfire visibly relaxed and floated back down to the bed, taking up a spot next to him. Robin cocked an eyebrow at her.

"We were worried for you. When you ran off to fight with Slade, we could not go after you because of Slade's robots. Then when you did not return home after such a long time, we went out to search for you," she explained, avoiding his gaze. Narrowing his eyes, Robin turned his head so he could see her more clearly.

"Star?"

"Yes, friend Robin?"

Robin sighed and closed his eyes. Starfire only called him that when she was hiding something.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, friend Robin. Nothing is wrong. Everyone is fine and joyous." Star was biting her lip and looking down at the patterns on Robin's bed sheets from the corner of her eye. Groaning, Robin sat up.

"What did I do now?" he muttered.

"What did you do? You nearly got yourself killed, that's what you did!" Robin looked up at the angry voice and found Cyborg standing over him, Raven and Beast Boy at his side.

"Cyborg, I--"

"You never think, do you?" the taller teen hissed, arms folded across his chest in an intimidating manner. "You were sick and you didn't even think. As soon as you hear the word 'Slade' nothing else matters, does it?"

"Look, I'm sorry, all right?" Robin hissed, bringing his gaze to the ground. His head was beginning to hurt again.

"We almost weren't able to find you! What if Beast Boy couldn't track you, huh? What then, Robin?"

"I said I'm _sorry_."

Raven stepped forward and held out her hand. "Lie back," she ordered coldly, hand surrounded by a dark mist. She placed her fingertips on Robin's forehead, and within moments, the Boy Wonder felt his headache ebb away.

"Thanks," he muttered begrudgingly, rolling over so that his back was facing the rest of the team. He noticed that Starfire had left his side for theirs.

Even after silence had reigned for longer than Robin could count, he didn't allow himself to relax. Though the others had left, there was still was someone else in the room. And he knew exactly who it was. He could feel the eyes on his back as they burned holes of disappointment into him.

"You going to yell at me too?" Robin mumbled at last, breaking the tense silence. He heard the other move.

"I don't know. Cyborg did a pretty damn good job of it."

"It's his specialty," Robin snorted, bringing the covers up around his shoulders. Suddenly he felt cold.

"And yours is getting yourself into a position that prompts his yelling."

"Speedy, I don't need your bullshit right now."

"And I don't need your attitude. Look, Robin." The archer walked around the bed so that he was in Robin's line of vision. "What you did was stupid. Admit it."

"I did what I had to do," the smaller boy snapped, rolling away from Speedy. He pulled the covers over his head.

"You could have died!"

"But I didn't."

"But you _could have_."

"So?"

"Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? Honestly, Robin. As soon as Slade enters your head, is there any room left in there for anyone else?"

"Fuck off," Robin snarled. Speedy sighed and placed a hand on the other boy's back, squeezing gently.

"You know the only reason we're angry was because we were scared shitless… _I_ was scared shitless," he admitted softly. He was taken aback when Robin roughly shrugged off his touch.

"Could have fooled me," Robin hissed. There was silence for a moment, before Speedy spoke in a cold, clear voice.

"I don't know how many times in the past month alone, you've been the perfect tool for Slade," he snapped. "You're violent, angry, you do the _stupidest things_… I don't know why I bother."

"Well, then neither do I," Robin said smugly, his anger at Speedy's words turning him apathetic to the issue. Narrowing his eyes, Speedy stared down at the boy wrapped up tightly in the secure blankets of his bed.

For the briefest moment, he could pretend Robin was merely asleep and that they weren't having the same conversation they'd been having for as long as he could remember. That this wasn't the new, more terrifying Robin prone to vicious mood swings, brash decisions, and slightly criminal tendencies, that the entire team was having trouble adjusting to. For the briefest moment, he could trick himself into believing that the empty space in the bed was meant just for him. For the briefest moment.

And when that moment went out the door, Speedy followed it without looking back.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Robin frowned and placed his hand against the cool surface of the observation window. The rain outside had turned the city gloomy and lifeless. Sort of what he felt inside.

But what did he care? Speedy was a jerk anyway. Always acting like he knew what was best for Robin. Constantly chastising him for the things he did. Just like the rest of the team. Sure, sometimes Robin crossed the line, but they were things that had to be done. Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and even Starfire, all continuously reminded him of how far he would, in fact, cross said line. He didn't need it from Speedy as well.

He didn't need it from anyone, but especially not from Speedy.

So he was glad when the archer had left almost a week ago. Because those weren't tears in his eyes when Star read the note from Speedy aloud, saying that he couldn't stay because Green Arrow needed help. Those weren't tears in his eyes when he realized that hadn't been the real reason Speedy had left so suddenly, because Green Arrow was up in space with Batman fighting with the Justice League. Those weren't tears in his eyes when the real reason Speedy was gone had dawned on him. And those especially weren't tears in his eyes when he went back into his room, only to find that Speedy had left the silver chain necklace that Robin had bought him for his birthday.

Jerk. It was his own fault if he didn't understand all that Robin needed to do. A madman was threatening the city, and all he was expected to do was just sit around and watch? He couldn't.

He wouldn't. Slade needed to be stopped. The only way for that to happen was to go on the offensive.

He didn't need to be around people who couldn't see that. So to hell with Speedy. Robin didn't need him anyway.

The harsh sounds of a metal guitar cut through his thoughts. Still staring out the window, he brought his gaze to the glass itself, trying to catch the reflection of whoever had been stupid enough to disrupt him and turn on the radio. To that song. Speedy's favorite song, which had, by default, become his own.

And now he thought it was the most atrocious sound ever to exist.

Starfire was fluttering around the stereo system anxiously, trying to find the right button to press to turn it off. Robin decided to help her out. Whipping out a birdarang, he flung it violently towards the blasted machine, watching the sparks and smoke fly with satisfaction. He turned back to the window and glanced at Starfire from the glass. She gazed at him in shock, then sadness, before shaking her head and floating away.

He felt the sudden urge to slap her. He knew he should be taken aback, appalled by his thoughts, but he wasn't. He wanted to hit her and make her hate him, because that was better than her giving him her damned pity.

The Titan Alert brought him out of his thoughts, and he took off – not waiting for the rest of the team to join him.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"You never learn, do you?" Cyborg's voice rang clearly in his head. It was as if the other Titan were standing right next to him, instead of in the mass of androids where Robin had left him fighting. The Boy Wonder shook his head stubbornly.

"You never _do_ learn." Robin tensed at the voice, holding his Bo-staff in a ready position. The warehouse he'd been lured into was full of shadows, hiding the man that he knew lurked in dark.

"You're off today, my dear boy. Perhaps it has something to do with that archer not being there," Slade purred, voice coming from all directions. Robin grit his teeth.

"Leave him out of this."

"I wonder why he left."

"Shut up!" Robin yelled, yanking out his birdarang and chucking it randomly into the shadows. Slade chuckled.

"He wasn't worthy of you anyway. None of them are."

"Shut. Up." Robin raised his hand in the air and caught the returning birdarang deftly, readying it for another attack.

"They only bring you down, Robin. I could make you great."

"Great like Terra?" The sarcasm dripped from Robin's tone as he threw his weapon once more.

"Better. The girl has power, but her mind is weak. You, on the other hand…" A shadow danced before Robin's eyes and he jumped forward with his Bo-staff, forgetting the birdarang as it swung back around. The sharp blade pierced his shoulder and he fell haphazardly to the ground, birdarang and Bo-staff landing feet away from him.

"I can make you a force like the world has never reckoned with," Slade finished smoothly. Robin narrowed his eyes and forced himself into a kneeling position.

"Power isn't everything."

"Anger. Betrayal," Slade repeated the same words that had unwittingly struck a chord with Robin back at his base. "Everything you feel deep within that you won't admit. But you will. Soon enough." The last word ended with an echo and the lights suddenly flickered on. Robin was alone, but Slade's voice remained in his head.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"I can't believe you!" Robin held back a wince at Cyborg's tone, keeping his gaze on the observation window. It was raining again.

"Not only did you not even wait for us to get there, but then you ran off on your own as soon as we did!"

"You endangered all of us," Raven added, voice laced with an anger Robin rarely saw in her. "And you do it time and time again."

"I thought I had him this time," Robin muttered, fingers digging into the armrest of the couch. He didn't want to be having this conversation.

"You never have him! He is always able to escape!" Starfire shouted, surprising not only the team, but herself. She turned pink and covered her mouth with her hand, floating behind Cyborg in embarrassment. Robin narrowed his eyes. Starfire was the last person he expected this from.

"Dude, sometimes I wonder if you're not secretly working for Slade," Beast Boy said accusingly, arms folded across his chest.

"You like to put us in danger like you are," Raven added, reiterating her point from before. Robin fought hard not to laugh in disbelief. Raven and Beast Boy finally agreed on something and it was on the most absurd thing in the world.

"How can you _say_ something like that?" Robin barked, knuckles turning white. Cyborg snorted.

"It's easy!"

"You haven't exactly been the best leader lately, in case you haven't noticed," Beast Boy mumbled, eyes glaring off somewhere to the side.

Robin seethed. "You need me."

"No, we don't," Cyborg said coldly. "Not this Robin. This Robin we're better off without."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin cried, jumping up into a standing position. He towered over the rest of the Titans in his anger.

"Look, dude, you need to calm down," Cyborg replied, ignoring Robin's question. The Boy Wonder stared at his team incredulously, not believing what he was hearing.

Fighting not to punch a hole right through Cyborg's mainframe, Robin pushed past him and stormed the way to his room, violently pressing the button to shut his door.

Whatever. He didn't need them anyway. They only got in his way.

Robin growled and grabbed a pillow from his bed, chucking it at the wall.

They didn't understand what he needed to do. Didn't know what was going on in his head. They had no right to say those things to him. No right. If they were better off without him, then he was better off without _them_.

Simple as that.

Closing his eyes, Robin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He tried to think of a time recently when he and the Titans weren't at odds with each other. To his ultimate dismay, he could not.

He and his team were fighting for justice but they couldn't even stop the fighting amongst themselves.

Justice.

The word made him pause.

What _was_ justice anyway? Something people fought for. Died for. Did everything they could for. And for what? To be hated?

Robin remembered all those people who used to despise Batman in spite of everything he did for them. He'd been too naïve to understand it then, but now it was clear.

Justice was merely a figment of the imagination. Something people came up with in order to…what? Be happy? You could be much happier looting jewelry stores and destroying lives.

No. Justice was needed. It was something necessary in order to keep the peace.

What peace?

The world was bathed in bloodshed.

Robin always found it funny how the ones in control of the justice system always ended up being the ones who were the least just. And those who strived for what was right? They always ended up getting punished in one way or another.

Like himself.

So what was justice? Was it doing what was right and then having your friends beat you down? Was it saving a life, only to have the victim turn around and blame you for his or her tragedies? Was it saving the world, only to have it be destroyed by the people you saved it for?

Robin used to think the answer was simple. Now he wondered if one existed at all.

"Anger. Betrayal." Slade's voice came back to him. "Everything you feel deep within that you won't admit. But you will. Soon enough."

What was the answer?

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

He was running. He didn't know where to, but he knew he had to get there. Soon. Because he couldn't take it anymore. He'd left the Tower in a hurry, ignoring the way his chest stung when Cyborg had angrily told Starfire to just let him go.

He didn't know why that had made him hurt so badly.

Or maybe he did. Maybe it was because he knew. He knew.

Robin's communicator fell from his utility belt and hit the ground with a bleak thud. He turned his head to look for it and tripped over the large rock that he was unable to see coming. Landing roughly in a patch of mud, he choked back a sob.

He knew that he wouldn't be going back. And that maybe if Cyborg had grabbed his arm, yanked him back into his room and locked him in there, that it would have been enough to make him stay.

Slamming his fist into the ground, Robin bit his lip until he tasted the metallic tang of blood.

"Robin." The voice was inside of him and surrounding him all at once. Somehow, he wasn't surprised.

He stared at the pair of feet that stood in front of him for a long moment, before his eyes slowly climbed up the towering figure. His gaze caught on the hand that was extended to him.

All of a sudden, images raced through his mind in a whirlwind that made him nearly cry out in pain. Pictures of Raven laughing, Starfire trying cotton candy for the first time, Cyborg washing his car, Beast Boy finally winning that damned video game. Speedy whispering softly in his ear.

And then they were gone. Replaced by six words that felt like an arrow through his heart.

_This Robin we're better off without_.

Meeting Slade's gaze, Robin took the hand held out for him.

It continued to rain.

* * *

The End

* * *


End file.
